Difficult Choices

Yesterday I had a retirement party at the end of the day. Now I am the type of woman who likes  cold beer or red wine or  Margaritas, you get the picture. So this was my first test of peeling back that lovely habit. I couldn’t just sit and slurp down beers when I knew that I wanted to run again that night. Drunken run? Probably need much more training for that.  But I was very proud of myself, I only had one beer. Huge success! Me, in a bar and only one beer. People who know me may have trouble believing this, but I swear it is true. And how was I rewarded for this wonderful act of virtue? My car key disappears – right off the ring! So by the time I got home, I was already tired and annoyed and really just did not want to go running again. 

Except I did go. I went running for about forty minutes. Clarification: Walk/Run. But I was really diligent about walking two minutes and running a minute. And I even expanded it to running for ninety seconds, some of the times. And I even ran for a little over two minutes and I didn’t even throw up like I thought I was going to.  And then I went home and within thirty minutes I went to sleep.

Tomorrow night I am looking forward to an evening with friends at one of my favorite places. And I am not planning on being so good, except that I know I am going to want to run again on Saturday morning. I am convinced that it is really helping me stay calmer (if not calm) during the day. And it just makes me feel happy. But so do Margaritas. Somehow, I am going to have to make these two disparate parts of my life work together. Do I have to give up one pleasure for another? And yes, I know one is way healthier -but seriously? Do I really have to give this up?

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