Today is suppose to be a rest day. Apparently, I am suppose to take one day that I don’t run. To be honest at 4:30 in the morning with a margarita head ache it didn’t seem like such a bad idea. However, now I am missing my run. So today I am going to incorporate a core training. I have looked several up on line and found two that I like. (here and here) Today also seems like the day to begin assessing the way I eat and set goals.
I have thought really hard about what my goals should be and how they need to reflect the point of the whole challenge. Which naturally begs the question, why do the challenge? In the beginning it is easy to jump in just because is sounds interesting. But as I run and push myself, I need more to keep it going. And the honest reason is, because I’m not sure I can. And because I want to be more than someone who worries about being thin and/or pretty. Who, at the very core, feels that this is part of the way I am judged. And no this isn’t all I am, but my weight does preoccupy a ridiculous amount of my mental energy. And I never feel good about myself. This needs to shift in my own head. For me and for my children. I want to be healthy and know that I am strong. This is why I am doing this. And when I finish this one, I want to do more.
All of my goals, therefore, need to reflect my inspiration. This means none of my goals will come from achieving a certain weight or losing inches. It means my rewards for myself will come in the form of supporting my ongoing goals. So instead of new clothes, or a new haircut, it might be better sneakers, or a better running bra, or hell! running pants. Cargo shorts are interesting but they keep falling down.
After researching how to eat on line, I realize my running really doesn’t approach a level that could be called training. Which isn’t going to stop me from calling it that. There is a mental shift when I call it training as opposed to working out. But still, I am not going to take in more calories then I expend as some articles have suggested. I have plenty of reserve, thank you. As much as I don’t want this to be about my weight, I do understand that carrying extra weight isn’t healthy. So, I am not going to starve myself, but I am going to try to eat well. Only this time, I’m not eating well to achieve a specific body image, I am eating to achieve a healthy and strong body that will carry me cheerfully through the rest of my life. I am eating for fuel.
“Working out” to “training” and “losing weight” to “healthy fuel” are just semantics, but they are also game changing. Because the goals are completely different.