Working Through

So, I’m pretty sure my left foot is not well. I can tell by the way when I step on it, pain runs up my heal. I know this is a sign of planter fasciitis, and I know that I have been ignoring it for awhile. It hurts a lot when I first wake up but once I hobble to the bathroom, things tend to be okay. However, this week I jumped from a bench. Long story, basically, I was too lazy to go around the long bench in the city, so I thought I would go over it. Once I stood on top, I realized down was a lot further than I thought. Also, I was in open toe slip ons. So as I hopped down, I tried to keep my shoes on my feet and felt an immediate burst of pain through my heal. Ouch! Since I was wearing crappy shoes, I sort of limped around the rest of the day, and in doing so, believe I managed to hurt the top of my foot.

Anyway, long story endless, I have not been running for over a week. This always worries me because I fear that it will go away. It’s not like it came easy, but I’m not really sure how I went from being non-runner to runner. And there are absolutely days I wish I didn’t. But I did. And I am so ridiculously proud of it, that it’s hard to explain. The thing about running is it is so hard. For me, anyway, I can’t speak to anyone else’s experience. So to be able to do this thing, and keep trying to get better at it, that I never really believed was something I could do is a big deal for me. As recently as last year, I really didn’t believe that I would ever be able to run. And then I did. And then I started adding real milage. And I am so proud of that. Because it is me, my shoes and the street. Well, and a good running bra, that’s pretty important. But there are no excuses. Either I can or I can’t. Either I do or I don’t. And when I can, and when I do it gives me a confidence, a newfound belief in myself that I just never had before.

So there is no way that I am going to give it up. I hope. I still worry how easy it is to slip into bad habits. This was the reason I pushed through last winter even though my right leg was killing me. But, I was able to keep running, research, strengthen my hips and now it doesn’t hurt at all. But it did hurt for about three months. So, if I would have stopped running while I waited for it to heal, well, holy shit, that would have been three months. No.

Well, now I have this and I did, after a good bit of research, find an article that said I can run through it. So that is what I am going to do. I will back down on my running milage and bike more, and I will listen to my body. But I don’t want to deal with all the emotional bullshit if I actually stop running. The way I would feel about myself. So, wish me luck.

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